My roommates are infuriating. They never take out the trash, I have to plead with them to simply wipe their messes off the counter when they've finished cooking and eating, and I always find remnants of them or their friends around the common areas. Unless I say something, the dishes usually go unwashed until they can no longer fit anymore on the counter next to the completely filled sink.
Ah. Now I know how my mom felt.
I get angry though. Take, for example, last week: I decided to rise above and take out the trash even though I was pretty sure I took it out last time and the time before that, I bought new trash bags when we were running low, and I throw away their stuff. “No matter! This is what it means to be a good roommate”, I thought cheerily to myself. The day was young, and I was headed to do some errands anyway, so I figured I’d just drop off all the trash on my way to my car. Normally, I would walk to the trash receptacle in front of our buildings, but the nearest one is one building over, and I was headed in the opposite direction to the parking garage. So I walked it over to the trash enclosure with the 15 foot walls and swinging metal doors. I pulled the pin up at the bottom of the door and walked the three bags into the enclosure. After being careful not to break any of the bags or spill trash juice on myself, I turned back around and stopped.
I had gotten stuck in the trash enclosure.
The door had slid back in my attempt to concentrate on the task at hand, and the pin had dropped itself back into its hole on the outside of the enclosure.
“I’ll just reach between the doors and pull it out again.” These doors are unfortunately designed without that luxury.
Fantastic. Well, that's what I get for trying to be nice. I’m the one wiping the counters, sweeping the floors, doing my dishes in a timely manner, not to mention (but really I am going to mention it) scraping off the caked on mystery substances from the stovetop that I don’t even use. THEY should be stuck in here, not ME. I’m the one doing all the work!
Then I stopped. After five minutes of searching for an alternative exit, calling one roommate who was already well on her way to class and one who didn’t pick up, then moping, I realized I am an advanced species and I couldn’t really be stuck. I looked down and noticed the distance between the floor and the doors was considerably larger than that between them. I pushed the pin up from the bottom and was released from my five minute cage. I didn’t leave just yet though. I looked around and realized how lucky I was that it was me and not one of them. I should have been glad that it was me and not one of my roommates without a cell phone or a coat. I should have been glad it wasn't raining or snowing or any combination therein. I had good shoes on, I had a warm coat, and I was able to get out on my own. I should have been grateful.
Thinking about how lucky I was that it was me and not one of them I think was a step in the right direction. Philippians 2:4 compels us to change our way of thinking. It reveals, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others”. Too often, I think about what they do to perturb me or how they’ve disrupted my routine, but they have their own routines and they’ve been gracious enough to humor me my trash-taking-out schedule and house rules. I used to go out of my way to make sure they did their part when I could have just as easily done it myself.
“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, “Come back later; I’ll give it tomorrow”-- when you now have it with you. Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you. Do not accuse a man for no reason-- when he has done you no harm.”- Proverbs 3:27-30
I was waiting to do nice things for them when they shaped up. As soon as they got it together and could realize how to wipe a simple counter, that’s when I would stop watching TV late at night or keeping all of my dishes in the dish drying rack. I would sweep up their messes when they could learn to sweep up my mess just once. I’m really glad God didn’t decide to save humanity when we learned to stop sinning.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8
Hmmm, His “love”. If God could send his son to die for us when we were completely undeserving, perhaps I could take out the trash for my roommates. He loves us, and he wants us to love each other, too. According to Jesus, the two greatest commandments are to love the Lord and to love our neighbors as ourselves.
I still forget if Proverbs comes before or after Psalms sometimes, and I have no desire to read Numbers in the slightest. I am perpetually flawed in the eyes of God and anyone else with working eyes. As much as I see the flaws in my roommates, I should see that it’s never out of malice or anger that they do the things they do. And even if it was, 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 urges us to “... warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure the nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else”.
So I’ve decided to look on the bright side of all this. I get to hone my housekeeping skills, and they’ve afforded me the opportunity to grow as a person and as a self-proclaimed ‘Woman of God’. Truthfully, they’re teaching me more than I could have ever learned on my own, and for that, I am eternally grateful to all of them. That’s not to say I won’t still put the trash by the door when it’s their turn. But now I do it out of a heart of helpfulness and love, not exasperation and impatience.
And when I can, I take it out even when it’s not my turn.
“Be kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”-Ian MacLaren
